20100131

A Treat That Takes My Breathe Away...

The sweetest thing that a women could do is to make a special treat for her loved one.. And Yes, Miss Kitty have proven that sweetly.. How she nailed it; heres how.. The preparation for going back to hometown was truly delightful, the not so surprised moment is truly surprising indeed.. And the crunchy ice breaking session where no words are necessary to be spilled.. Just the glance of an ‘miss u so much till I wanna hug u tightly’ type of eyes was indeed settled the previous fight.. And im glad we didn’t talk about it much, let it just fly away with the past and focus on 3 days..

But wait, with all of this magical moments, the main dishes didn’t seem to be served yet.. A cup of tea at Taipan is surely opening appetizer for the night.. With the laugh and the so much things to talk about makes the world clapping cheers for us.. It was wonderful of u Miss Kitty.. And after the rundown of ‘pusing2 at roads’ yes, she finally shown me the main dishes, the best part of the reason for she coming back.., the moment that both of us have been waiting for, Walla!! c'├ętait magnifique!! The seeing stars moment where we see brightest star.. We both look delirious as we reconnect the stars that have been fired up in our heart.. I really had a wonderful time, for u to being there beside me and your anxiously non-stop smiling and notty-ness.. haha.. It was a very great time indeed.. I just can’t wait for another 2 weeks to wait for my little kitties..

Albeit the not seeing for the next night, I had so much fun having breakfast with you.. And I just found myself another specialty; Driving teacher perhaps? Haha.. Owh I miss you already, I miss you and I miss u and I miss u.. This little girls that I will miss so much.. And much more enjoying the moment where u see my hairs chop off.. Even with your non-stop teasing, I love it when u do that kitty.. Comel~

And the dessert was done in such a sweet mixture of words, A place to shares your undying love to the world, The little bloggie.. It was surprising because I was sleeping at that time and she suddenly makes it for me.. Wow, it really is a blowing mind.. It is a perfect plan and indeed the sweet treat from Miss Kitty.. I know we both have been a little misunderstanding lately.. But on this situation, WE NAILED IT!!!

Now, on this very moment.. Im damn full of your exceeding love.. Got hearts in my eye *wink wink*.. Can’t wait for another 2 weeks from now, I will be waiting impatiently as always.. I shall be waiting impatiently for my little kitties which I missed them so much.. hehe..

Here’s a little thought for us to share… IM INSANELY IN LOVE WITH YOU, Miss Kitty..

Here’s a little bit to for u to hold… Be good there, always remember me, do take care of yourself physically n mentally..

I SHALL BE WAITING YOU HERE,
REMEMBER THAT I ALWAYS LOVE YOU.. NO MATTER WHAT..
MUAHXX!!!

Push Button, Pull Trigger.

It's been such a long time for my sudden disappearing act on the blogosphere. I've found myself a little bit fagging and had some fucking sullen feelings for blogging lately, so yeah pardon me for that. After all much heart-break-dramas and also not-so-happy-hol happened, I find myself horrifyingly missing him fucking more. This stupidity theory for squeezing in as much time with Mr Sayang in merely 3 freaking days for confronting another 2 fucking weeks without him was indeed bullshit. Alas, I find myself terribly missing him more now. Fuck it. I utterly craving for another weekend folks!

Grrr.

Frankly, Mr Sayang had actually set our blog as private&confidential on the past week. And I've decided to deactivate my facebook too, and he did it though. Really, I don't have any idea why the heck I did that. What a superficial jerk I was. Oh well I'm sticking with those blogosphere no matter what. Anyway, Mr Sayang had suddenly outdid himself for posting his sweetest post that is too personal to publish it to public. Ain't no public declaration here anyway. It's exceedingly personal lah. Ergo, I have to keep it at the draft only. No offense eyh Sayang!

I really had fun, especially at the time in his wanderings and for our driving class was indeed mind-fucking-blowing, you're ace Sayang! And not forgotten your wizardly powers of magic! Damn, I'm loving it. Albeit we didn't meet last night, I'm still thankful to see you just now though. Really happy. Even though just for a little while, but I still have the joyous time with you. But somehow, it makes me miss you more lahhh Sayang. Boohoo. :'(

Sedih sebentar.

I just hope we don't fight much after this. I really need your source of inspiration back too. I don't know why the previous fight has eventually happened to us. Well, this is a mere example of how a person who usually sound mind has make an unsound act in a nerve-wracking situation. I know, I've been nagging much, I've been neglecting your feeling, I've acted like a fucking moron lately. It was totally my flaws. I don't know how it comes to this worse. My emotion and the sudden mood swings were screwed up. Oh my Lord, I really really don't know why this is happening.

But, do you know, what suffer the most is totally not the trouble that I have caused, it is actually what the trouble had made me realize. I am a fucking loser-I have to admit it. For nearly 11-bloody-months, we've never fight. Okay fine, we had a few spat here and there but I think, I've never felt truly upset. I know, I've requested so many times of break-ups requirement from you, but deep inside I've never certainly meant it punnnn, I desperately hope you could stay. I'm fucking loving you still! I'm just screwed things up, I know. And it's absolutely wouldn't succeed to jeopardize our relationship today, nor hereafter.

The fact is; I'm worse. I was selfish. Period. I'm no way better person than you are. So I deserved all the heart sore. It weren't you that had brought the pain, it was me. When I read your post, I realize that I was too selfish, unjust and whatsoever. Somehow, I feel that I don't deserved you at all. It showed us how much of a weakling I really am now. Boo me.

Sad.

Well I oughta know, change is hard!


Note to Mr Sayang: I'm so sorry for fucking around here. I just can't help it. I truly sad now. I'm gonna miss you 'little boy' :(

20100122

Love Factory.

To be true, I've been sad a lot lately.

Today is might be just another harebrained day for your souls. Same goes to me, but fortunately it had turned out to be the most graceful day of my whole life.

To my immense thankful, we are 11-months-old now. At 3 p.m to be exact. So yeah, I have to come home no matter what albeit I've got fuckload of assignment and not forgotten the coming presentation but hey(!) today's essentially significant deal for us.

I might simply lose the clarity and sanity of mine if this is may not happening. I don't mind for wandering all the way from the zoo to this divinity town by myself. I repeat; by myself, I kept my own company, in decent word; ALONE! Ha! It showed that I eventually have a so-called gut fits in me just because of him. Ahh, it have always been up to him, that little boy. Nyiawww~

Ergo, no complaints of being alone in the bus and a banging backache and headache was terribly ate me up. I'm being sane :)

Oh oh I remember, the first day we've predicated to be as one, which the meroyan mode had eventually gone between us after all bunch of main-tarik-tali act, but yeah I love it! (But he said, I'm the one that merely meroyan, bullshit!) Well frankly, I've been waiting someone like him for 20 years, to be in love like this. Only God knows how grateful I was at that time. Thank God.

One had told me that no one in couples thingamajig will always loyally be in love each other and then it made the relationship vulnerable. In other words; never-ending fights and heartbreak dramas. It maybe happen because of the third party? Lies upon it? Or without any purposes, just a routine whatsoever?

We'll never know what will happen in future anyway. Plus, we don't even know who's the hell the future husband/wife could be either. So trust me, love is unpredictable. As I did firmly believe on such thought too. Unlike with my case; I trust him alot as he didn't made any stupid flaws so far, thankfully we're just fine all the way. Hopefully, we will be just fine, today and hereafter. FINGER CROSSED.

Note to Mr Sayang; not that I don't trust our amour love to stand by us, (I do love you to death!) but if we keep the faith in us still, love is absolutely non-stop clinging to our relationship nevertheless, trust me!

May God bless us.
Amin!

The fights is actually taught us to be stronger. I shall believe on that.
Love is hard, I know.


We'll see.

20100121

Solitude.

"Oh I'm hanging high
Oh won't you let me down
Back where I started at
You know I'm little lost.


And when it hurts the most
I'll push a little more
I'm back where I started at
You know I'm little lost."

:(

20100119

Zzz.

Just get back from Fin's class. And the class was started at 8 frigging p.m! The other things that vexed me; today's schedule was wadded from 8 a.m to 10 p.m. Now tell me when the hell the weekend gonna hit me? Bloody hell.

HR's class was bloody ho-hum and pretty boring like usual. Nothing much to crap about. Zzz.

Fin320 class was suddenly cancelled at 10 a.m. Bliss. Yeay :D

But! We have to go outing for making and patching up of our interview for the INS312. No yeay. My beautifool plan to get the wonderfool siesta was undesirably down to the drain. GRR. I've even not get any of that till now even the little bit one. Goddarnit. I desperately need the ZZZ.

But at least the day wasn't that boring after all. I need to buy the bus ticket but heck I haven't much plenty of time. Hiss me. The stupid not-so-day-off was happened horribly terrific but that was happened initially horrific when these three stupid dumb dumb girls was fought like cat and dog and pig weh. Nyiawww~

It happened maybe as the weather was terribly hot. Hot.Hot.Mess. Indeed! So, ignore the sememeh face. Went to AIA and ING's office for the POPPED interviews. No formal letter for an appointment anyway. We've just go.

TA-DA~

I looked grumpy at that!

More grumpy. GRR.
With Rachel and her hubby-The ING Sales Manager.
They looked so darn cute.
Envy them.

Hope things gonna be much better for tomorrow. Hope the upcoming presentation will happen awesomely. Finger crossed. The on-going assignment is definitely have not forgotten. Could die! Wonder if things gonna weaken our bond actually, hope not. Damnnn, I miss him like hell now. It's twice-So, no yeay :'(






The next top model in town.



I LIKE.




See, I don't curse alot (it's NIL!) on today's entry as the boyfriend already had complained and extremely quetched. I won't fuck much then. Ya I know, that was much frigging irritated but heck I can't help it and even easily stop resisting! Tidak disengajakan pun. Pardon me. I have to admit that I would aging more riotous if I can't stop effing and oathing and blablabla. Apalah nak jadi dengan anak Pak Berahim nih! Hiss me then.





Peace y'all.

20100117

Penat.

I get weak
I get weary
I miss sleep
I get moody

I'm in thoughts
I write songs
I'm in love
I walk on




Finger crossed, my time is coming now.
Don't you go, my baby begs me so
Time will fly, upon my baby's back.

I don't understand this.

Craving your lullaby.

I've already missed him,vigorously. Oh well frankly, I have started to missing him like an idiot since the very last day I saw him. And it was somehow aggravate my day unintentionally. I need the weekend NOW! Damn my feeblest state. Must stand convincingly strong for another 6 days. Suspire deeply jap. If not you can't keep typing anything here because you'll get heart attack then, silly.

I'm not even bored here lah. No joke. I really had fun today albeit only with Farah and Ziera, I really had fun I tell you so do not throw any sympathy on me. Grr. Segamat ain't that bad after all. Ha! Okay, this is sounds tad amusive I know. Boo me.

Thank God I still have them around. The strolling and gym activity is absolutely necessary for us. Ha, I know I'm that skinnier who doesn't need to squeeze myself to be skinniest right? But hey for now and then I do want a healthier lifestyle indeed! Let us see how far I could stand still on this degree. Hiss me, again. Fuck the aching of having much needed warm-up. Ha, I'm sticking with the resolution still lah. Grr.

Need to find a new sport shoe! I've lost the latest one, grr. Haih, where the hell lah they went. As I've eventually love the outdoors gym facilities. Especially with the act of running one. Ha Ha. We have to waited one another for our turns since that thing only have one je. Berebut macam kiddies. Ha Ha. Whatever. As long as we are happy~

I don't know what is wrong with me lately. At one time, PMS tak tentu pasal ja. Then squealing throughout the day then made him down. Gosh, I've messed up mannn. Sorry. I guess, I'm just missed him rottenly. Damnnnn :(

Hiss me, to the end.


Seeing your picture doesn't heal the pain.
Perhaps...
I need you.
NOW!



Really hope I could come home this week. Keeping my finger crossed!

20100114

Kena Gigit.

Had joyous fun and refreshment laughter last night. Albeit I detested to death to the activity, I felt happy somehow. Fuckyeah, at least I've (unexpectedly) beat the most arrogant player down; Mok Farah. Berlagak sungguh. Ha hambik kau! Muahaha! 2-1. Well, the petanque/petong(?) (Does I spell it right?) was mind-bending. Maybe it only because I had won. Woot Woot~ Ha Ha. Can't wait for the next week's activity.

Yay, I won!
*Shake my ass off*

I felt wholly happy when the sister (Kak Nurul) has eventually texting me with this;

"Apa tu-Great catching up?"

T,T

Yeah I know I'm a mobile dictionary to her. Then I've squeezed her to called me up as I missed her damn much. We have nifty conversation and laughter then. She said she tremendously likes Nobody-Wonder Girl song and then I've said she's so 2000 and late. Ha Ha. However, I've squeezed and squealed to sang that song together gayly. Yeah, fuck us as being so gay. And that made my day automatically rejoicing. Kudos to her. But heck I can't wait for the next week to happen. Her birthday is on 25th but I have class on that day. What a shithead.

Will figure it out later.

To make it worse; a fuckload of assignment and workload are already waiting in line to be done. Grr. I detested this as I'm one the most lazyass in the world. Ha Ha. Revamping mode again. Yeah right. The thing that irked me badly was this; After all the workload has done and we've got ready to meet 'her', she did cancel the meeting at the very last minute. So the BABI effing was worthy to her. Fuck.

Oh well, let me tell you something spooky; This is my first time to have a bite. It were ridiculous lah if I bite my leg by myself kan? Surely I was bitten by a vampire indeed! Tulah mulut takde insurans. Serves me right. Let's see the snapshot;

Voila!

Yeah this is the hideous leg of mine.

To make it much horrible; Aimie told me that I was mengigau macam orang tidak siuman. She has asked me whether I did wash off my legs and face or not, well I did! But maybe it wasn't enough to deflect me from mengigau. Whatever. My legs kinda aching then-urat timbul by all of sudden. Hoping it won't getting worst. Mr Sayang is worried too much until he asked me to come home. I have to refused as I believed there's nothing bad could happen. Kot la.

Haih, what a crappy day.

Sighhh.

The only survived; me, Mok Farah and Ziera will be bump each other in the middle of the jungle since Mok Sya also wanna berambus tomorrow. Grr.

Random; I had finally started to read Twilight novel. I know I'm such a sloth reader you should just spank me already! Oh well I've been hankering like a kiddo to borrow this from Asilah Anak Termili aka Shiloh. At least I have something to do here. (Cheh, lupakan assignment sebentar.) Well, I can't fucking believe I haven't read it sooner. Hiss me.

Awhh, thinking of the bite that I've gotten, why lah that stupid vampire bite against me? As I am vampire too! My blood wasn't yummy at all pun! Whatever.


Note to Mr Sayang; We must have a fight. Ha Ha. I love you anyways. Thank you for your concerns. I know this is the hardest things to moving on. But you know kan I won't give up. Must be strong and! Firmly loving you.

20100113

Mahu Gigit.







I majorly adored her. At the first time of listening her song, I was stunned; oh fucking flawless. Possibility-this song is goddamn ohh~orgasm inducing! I'd fuck this. Should download her full album (Youth Novels) as soon as possible. And yeah, no regrets :)

Had google her bio; The name is Li Lykke Timotej Zachrisson (tongue twisted!) born 18 March 1986, she is a Swedish indie singer and songwriter. And the rest; go google it yourself.





Really gonna fuck this.



And the hair.

20100111

"I feel old but not very wise".

Had been pretty busy and fussy here and there, now and then. Chehcheh macam artis pulak. To be frank, 4 freaking days without touching and tinging any blogosphere is kinda weird somehow, what a lame. Anyway, too many things had happened to me a while back-that is a mixture of bitterness and sweetness. Heh. The new verdict that I could gladly tell here is; I didn't have any regrets in me although I've got back Shah Alam merely in 3 fucking days. But it did still worth it. Thank you very very much.

I've finally found myself a new verdicts. Bittersweet indeed;
  1. Never will lepak at kedai nasi lemak nearby the train anymore. Grr. Ladies and gentlemen, let us boycott that fucking stupid arsehole, what a prick she was. What the fuck lah kau suka-suka nak halau customer, even if using lower tones pun, still...'customer comes first' kot! Fuck.you.bitch.
  2. Saving myself from any perils that might happen to me without any signs. In my case; orang tidak siuman menggila. With hideous make-up she put on were horrifically 'cantik' as fuck. Oh not forgotten; "Jangan lari!"-People, don't main kejar-kejar at railway station kay! Please know that is merely my second time taking trains. Fuck me.
  3. Not stopping at that. In the train still got a throng of orang tidak siuman. Next time, we shall take our way home elsewhere rather than that stupid place. Preferably somewhere where people have brains I think. Ha Ha. Thank God I have finally took a nap at there-since the environs is fucking pesky. Yek yek.
  4. The sweetness; having ultra-high chill out with Mr Sayang, Aznie and her clan on the last Friday and Saturday was mind-blowing indeed. Shisha at Carlos and supper at William's (Oh I love sharing sparkling lemonade with him there!). Big thank you for that Sayang for the night. Albeit we did not go somewhere peculiar, I still having so much fun, REALLY. Well, I love the clouds of shisha around us-they've been behaving like a kiddo. Funny indeed. Oh not forgotten we've played card-guess who the hell always won?
  5. Mr Sayang had finally found a new job. Yeay. Straight after I've reached Shah Alam, I've accompanied him to Seri Segi(?) for an interview. Kudos to Farah for helping us. Thanks Mok!
  6. Never thought that Seraimas(?)Restaurant is my ex-schoolmate(Zafira) family's restaurant-somewhere at Section 23, nearby Mr Sayang's office anyway. But heck she's studying at Penang now-still got no catch ups since the very last bloody semester break a while back until now. Haiyo~
  7. Had eventually gave him a newly note as we've bunch of fights lately. Ergo, I have to do something 'desirable' to keep us stay. Heh. Fuckyeah I am not fucking lame after all lah. Sayang, I'm still waiting for your reply anyway :p
  8. I detest backstabbers. I don't give a fuck to anyone who's talking bad things about me and spread any malicious gossip thingamajig behind me or even you are currently in my friend's list but you still wanna do that, that is totally fine with me, I've nothing to do with it pun anyway. I must say that you just don't have your own fucking life, don't ya? Please. Pleaseee~ Go get a new life will ya? Mind your own fucking business lah. I really detest this. Don't confront me with your fucking frosted eyes or whatever the fuck else, I won't stare them. Thank you.
  9. The good new was this; I still haven't skipped any classes since this semester begun. Hurrah! Happy for the time being! Hoping that I won't changed this nerdy demeanor. *Crossfingers!*
  10. The lectures, the timetable, and the classes are pretty okay I guess. But heck, I can't keep up with Si Kecik's clan. Whatever.

I'm not going back this week. I'm gonna be sooo fucked up here. But I guess I will clean up a fuckload of dirty clothes. Grr. It has been as high as Gunung Ledang already. Goddamnit. All and all, I have to endure it in two fucking weeks. Otherwise, my life would be miserable!

My new resolution is that;

BE SIUMAN.



I miss him already. No yeay. :'(

20100107

I'm moving on okay?

"In this place it seems such a shame,
though it all looks different now,
I know it's still the same.
Everywhere I look you're all I see.
Just a fading fucking reminder of who I used to be"



Nine Inch Nails, Something I can never have.





Okay, I know I'm such a fucking dimwit coz I've got this bloody dicky heart that never intend to dwell in me. Oh fuck me.

20100106

Practice Makes Perfect.

Sorry. I'm just a human being after all-I have acted (unintentionally!) like a superficial jerk lately. What the hell have I been thinking-I simply don't know why.

I've been hurting you, senseless
The bruises and pain that I have caused
I guess it'll just to be happen accidentally
And you'd endure it
You'll merely coax me
Without a period
And you still is.
(Though now you zonked out from 6p.m already?!)

I'm such a weakling, I know
To let myself drowning
From time to time
I've been feeling off
Dead, somehow.

I'm sorry for everything
For the fucking wrath
I stumbled again
And I have lost the only fortitude I have
To feel it back in the nerve

But now
I don't know how to know
What have we think

I've never intended to screw you

Sorry again.
I love you.


I want his 'magic' back!
Can I?


Random: My bahasa is cacat! Made me look sooo fucking ridiculous. I know my bahasa has always been a bit cacat. I'm only good with cursing and effing in the language. Yesterday it was fucking borderline pathetic; I wanted to say 'membahan' but I said 'berjenaka'. What the fuck was that? So I deserved the ironical laugh by The Darlings on the last night out. The most unforgivable mistake; babi berlalu. Okay fine!

So, this time around, I shall repair and vivify my bahasa and pertuturan.

Thank you!

It's 1 fucking a.m and I know I should've sleep by 12p.m anyway as I have full and packed classes tomorrow-the first class at bloody hell Intan some more. Grr. But I still can do this-as this is only the way to clear things out. Ahh, can't fucking wait for tomorrow! Shah alam, here I come!

I desperately need a little break.

20100105

Stupid itu Bodoh.


I've had enough of it
And I can't take it anymore
I'm merely in much tad jaded
So please get out of my head
What a shallow moron.
(-.-)"

It's heavy downpour outside-the perfect time to sleep. And I don't know why the hell am I thinking of 'it' in such stupid way now. I need some refreshment. Oh well I don't need 'it' at all! Fuckyou.

We (The Darling) are gonna MakD-ing tonight. Big Mac, here I come! Can't wait.

Nyummeyy~

*Dribbling*







(This is my resolution to gain weight anyway. So don't be fucking suprise.)


Awhh yeah stupid itu bodoh,
Bodoh itu kau.
Get it?

20100104

Take me away will ya?

I don't have any mood to blogging tonight but goddamnit I have nothing to do. What the fuck else I must do rather than this you tell me? Sighh. I've 'finally' start my new student life at this fucking hellhole-that I may say that I've been waiting for this. bullshit. Yeah trust me on that state of mine. With the fucking boredom that I've got used to bear it. Babi. Only two days in here but I'm getting insane already with it. But thank God I still have friends here. If I don't have them here, that is so not shithot anymore! Kudos to them, two thumbs up!

What happened to us at B148;

Aimie macam babi memekak.
Farah asyik study sambil main farmville 24/7.
Sya lak pun same~

And me? Fucking myself alone.
Haiya~

BOSAN! BOSAN! BOSAN!
Kat Shah Alam pun merungut bosan, duduk dalam ini hutan pun lagi lah babi bosan okay! Fuck fuck fuck it lah! The one thing that vexed me was that; I have classes on Monday till Thursday-okay that is fine wimme that my friday is my dayoff, but things was fucked me up when I know I got three fucking days fully packed! From goddamn 8 a.m-6 p.m yo. This is really pissing me off which I think I will miss most of my morning classes mannn-hopefully not lah. Haiyoyo~

To Aimie & Farah,
Please do wake me up. Strict and unplayful demeanor is preferable.


No play-play dah and no more drama. Yeah right!
Have to wake up early tomorrow. Gahh, I miss my slothful days freely and peacefully wasting my time with most likely facebooking, lepaking and etc. No stress at all. Heaven~ But this? Bloody hell lah! Well, I assure you that I might lose my mind in three days more. Fuck lah.

Oh God please help me~


Note to Aimie, Sya, Farah & Ziera;


YOUR HEAD LAH!!

That's that. Stopping it now.





Awhh, I'm sooo fucking miss him dearly :(

20100103

The Possibility of The Beginning.

Today might be knottiest amidst knottier. And today's entry might be the mellowest post ever as well as I'm away to Segamat at this morning-and I don't give a damn for not packing my stuff yet. Fuck me. So long, Shah Alam. I'm gonna miss this place. MY place. So yeah, I'm moving on. Okay, I know I fumble a words now since I have a nagging feelings to not go-urgh, this might be the hardest thing to do anyway. Damn. Why must this suppose to happen?? The thing that galls me is; I have to leave him for 4 bloody months. Uhh have another one year at hellhole-to be exact! Sighhh. Can't fucking wait that time to comes.

Tonight is the last night out with him. The most sorrow night out. If only I get a chance to not go, I truly do not want to depart. To my gigantic vexation; I don't wanna leave him out as he always here by my side. I'm profusely don't wanna stray damnit. If only I can stay :'(

The night was calm and steady. We were just wearing a huge smiles each other and a loyalty gaze when we've got no topic to spilt nor wrath came out-only tiddly happened when we have recalled the past memories of us. Ha Ha. We're so fucking lame you guys should spank us already, or we should share the pat on the cheeks each other lah Sayang. Well, I love you still :)

Sayang,

Thank you for that angelic note of yours. It really means alot to me. And the Polo's tee shirt that you gave me is gratifying indeed. I will wear it whenever I miss you-never mind if the shirt would bust then muahaha. Well sayang, thank you for the wonderful night. While I read your note, I found myself shedding tears, that was umm stupefying to know that I'm leaving this town and you. How can I live my life at that hellhole without you when I've get used to it to be with you for a year a while back? I know I sound like such a whiny loser, am I?

No, I must be strong for you, (MUST!) as I did before, as you wanted. We must preserve a tight bond that had conveyed 10-bloody-months and hereafter. So I must keep my promises still, always in my head, will never forgotten. Those do's & don'ts that you have listed; I must say that I will follow your guide as I do not wanna change and be unmindful. Please do not stop remind and prompt me of the actual path as you considered the best. Please~

Oh how the hell I am that so-called Bella heh? Don't tell me you are the Edward, sayang. Ha Ha Ha. As I'm writing this oh please know that I'm listening Possibility-Lykke Li over and over again. I can't think anything else but you and I find myself obnoxiously missing you oh-so-terribly already! Please, please~ know that I love you. And I ensure you that I will do like Bella if, IF you leave me. Heh.

The things that you asked from me; to love you, to miss you, to want you; well I guess I've already feel that way. Damnit. Only God knows what the uppermost feelings towards you that I never fall this way with someone else but this time around, I fail. I know, your 'magic' did work to steal my heart. Gratefully, it's you that I adore the most, no one above you. As I have said above, this is the most mellower post, so do not puke. Grr.

I love the last sentences of yours;

"Whenever you fall down, read this.
I'll be there for you and I'll wait for you here".
-My favourite lines from a fucking beautiful piece he wrote for me, that was sweet indeed! Thank you for your supports, I appreciate it, Sayang. And I never thought that was your tears. I never think it will falls from you. Why must that happened? It somehow makes me don't ever wanna go. Humph. Don't do that again. So yeah I will obey the laws that we made. No neglect. No main-main dah as I promise to you to get better result of mine for coming semester. Let's hope that I will find it in myself to be less lazyass when it comes to my study and class attendance, or maybe there at least something new to amuse myself with(?) Heh.


I shall nodding and reaffirm this;

"The ending means another beginning".

We shall start over again after all fall down. No give up. Fuckyeah I can't sleep, well I have to stay up since I do not pack and tamp down my stuff yet. Fuck me lah. Adoi~

So wish me luck!

20100101

Hello Twenty-Ten.

I have always wondered how perfect it would be like the last year's celebration. I have to admit, this is the worst ever. Well, who was really urged wants to go Genting Highland anyway? Screw me. But who the hell was the idea popped out from is? Yeah the bestie; Aznie. Ha ha. I am not blaming her pun, it's just...funny. Funny how, the boyfriend's foot was shivering and pretty hectic with driving (Poor Sayang) as the road have a throng of cars beyond us. Stuck and massive jammed for 2 fucking hours! What the fuck was that happened! I swear to God won't burden myself celebrating new year's eve at there anymore. Grr. Tulah, always expected too much je!

Oh well, no regrets came out pun!

The fucking jam-packed!

Went out from my house at 11.30 p.m and arrived on the top only at 4 fucking a.m and we just spent merely 2 effing hours there. We missed out the fireworks performance that night. Failed. I found myself a new verdict; I hate that chinese's driver and all of them-I'm not afraid at all of this recognition of mine. Fuckyou, moron! If only I get a chance to spit out my sweet saliva on his fucking face, I won't hesitate I tell you. Sungguh bengang. Why lah they used to have that fucking self-centered act? Why must?!

Had only taken a few of pics as the phone was out of battery;

Straight away to MarryBrown and having some not-so-great supper.
I so love our pic here. Love it!
As he looks so 'handsome'.
And I look sorta banshee heh?
Grr.
Them :)
Sweet indeed.
Makan pun nak pandang tempat lain.
But unlike with her boyfriend; Aren.
Bahaha :D

All and all, I ain't no regret in my thought and any agitated feelings was never built in my head. As long as I'm with him is worth all the time and penny. And this new year's eve celebration is absolutely the most pleasant night to be, uber-cool. So true, no sweet talks whatsoever. So the azam baru might be; wanna pinch his arse harder and I must agree with you Mr Sayang that I wanna touch your heart softly too, no fights no heart-break drama okay deal? I hope we won't be apart albeit our distance might be far away due to the fact that I will be depart to Segamat on this Sunday. No matter how far you away from me, you'd in my head still. Ignore the cliche words people.

In deep inside, I was too fucking distressed myself as I shed alot of tears unintentionally. I am sorry. I have been much wondering of this suffering. How can I live my live without him sooner or later? As I've get used to having him by my side at fucking 24/7. Perhaps time will tell and show us that we are unbeatable with ceaseless bond of us and so never-ending happiness. I will miss him exceedingly. Oh time please ticking faster, I can't wait to grow older with him. Ignore this very menggelikan words I know, screw me.

Anyhow,

I'm welcoming this twenty-ten with open arms.

RANDOM: Talking about the bestie's English lang communication; is kinda suck (To be true, I know I'm not good in Eng jugak!) but she's still learning it. So, I will non-stop supporting her. Funny how, supposedly saying this;"I don't mind" but she used this unsuitable words; "I don't care" that she used to answering my Q. When I've got her message, I once was shocked like hell and then laughed out loud like an idiot je. Ha ha. Thank you Aznie. We've non-stop bahan her with that instance. Jahat betul.

To the boyfriend; I love you. I hope I can see you tomorrow before I depart. Don't forget to bring my precious butterfly pensil case along eh? I love you. Till death do us part.

To my immense screwed; I didn't go to Kuantan. I know I'm such a sloth in going my ass off to wedding event. Teruk! So now, I'm starving to death like hell. Damn it!