20100103

The Possibility of The Beginning.

Today might be knottiest amidst knottier. And today's entry might be the mellowest post ever as well as I'm away to Segamat at this morning-and I don't give a damn for not packing my stuff yet. Fuck me. So long, Shah Alam. I'm gonna miss this place. MY place. So yeah, I'm moving on. Okay, I know I fumble a words now since I have a nagging feelings to not go-urgh, this might be the hardest thing to do anyway. Damn. Why must this suppose to happen?? The thing that galls me is; I have to leave him for 4 bloody months. Uhh have another one year at hellhole-to be exact! Sighhh. Can't fucking wait that time to comes.

Tonight is the last night out with him. The most sorrow night out. If only I get a chance to not go, I truly do not want to depart. To my gigantic vexation; I don't wanna leave him out as he always here by my side. I'm profusely don't wanna stray damnit. If only I can stay :'(

The night was calm and steady. We were just wearing a huge smiles each other and a loyalty gaze when we've got no topic to spilt nor wrath came out-only tiddly happened when we have recalled the past memories of us. Ha Ha. We're so fucking lame you guys should spank us already, or we should share the pat on the cheeks each other lah Sayang. Well, I love you still :)

Sayang,

Thank you for that angelic note of yours. It really means alot to me. And the Polo's tee shirt that you gave me is gratifying indeed. I will wear it whenever I miss you-never mind if the shirt would bust then muahaha. Well sayang, thank you for the wonderful night. While I read your note, I found myself shedding tears, that was umm stupefying to know that I'm leaving this town and you. How can I live my life at that hellhole without you when I've get used to it to be with you for a year a while back? I know I sound like such a whiny loser, am I?

No, I must be strong for you, (MUST!) as I did before, as you wanted. We must preserve a tight bond that had conveyed 10-bloody-months and hereafter. So I must keep my promises still, always in my head, will never forgotten. Those do's & don'ts that you have listed; I must say that I will follow your guide as I do not wanna change and be unmindful. Please do not stop remind and prompt me of the actual path as you considered the best. Please~

Oh how the hell I am that so-called Bella heh? Don't tell me you are the Edward, sayang. Ha Ha Ha. As I'm writing this oh please know that I'm listening Possibility-Lykke Li over and over again. I can't think anything else but you and I find myself obnoxiously missing you oh-so-terribly already! Please, please~ know that I love you. And I ensure you that I will do like Bella if, IF you leave me. Heh.

The things that you asked from me; to love you, to miss you, to want you; well I guess I've already feel that way. Damnit. Only God knows what the uppermost feelings towards you that I never fall this way with someone else but this time around, I fail. I know, your 'magic' did work to steal my heart. Gratefully, it's you that I adore the most, no one above you. As I have said above, this is the most mellower post, so do not puke. Grr.

I love the last sentences of yours;

"Whenever you fall down, read this.
I'll be there for you and I'll wait for you here".
-My favourite lines from a fucking beautiful piece he wrote for me, that was sweet indeed! Thank you for your supports, I appreciate it, Sayang. And I never thought that was your tears. I never think it will falls from you. Why must that happened? It somehow makes me don't ever wanna go. Humph. Don't do that again. So yeah I will obey the laws that we made. No neglect. No main-main dah as I promise to you to get better result of mine for coming semester. Let's hope that I will find it in myself to be less lazyass when it comes to my study and class attendance, or maybe there at least something new to amuse myself with(?) Heh.


I shall nodding and reaffirm this;

"The ending means another beginning".

We shall start over again after all fall down. No give up. Fuckyeah I can't sleep, well I have to stay up since I do not pack and tamp down my stuff yet. Fuck me lah. Adoi~

So wish me luck!