To be quite honest, I started doing this post on yesterday-28th of February (My mom's 50th Birthday!) at approximately 2 a.m, but I hadn't the willpower to successfully finish it. Now that I'm somewhat sober enough to think wisely, the heart-break dramas was my fault too. As the besties has pointed out that; "Don't be stupid, don't let people who has no brain spread the malicious gossips and bad rumors about you!"And for that I have to win back the dignity of mine.
When I think back, we should've not stayed together. Or I should have dumped her from the start, ever since I knew that I supposedly should not listed her as a trustable ally. Fuck me. When I know her deeply day to day, do everything together like a belangkas; that was a BIG mistake! Well I don't really mind of being one of the victim of this malicious gossips thingamajig. I just know that 'what comes around goes around'. So I'd let it be if the matter doesn't screw me up. Period.
Well, after much of think now and then, I have to publish this fucking babbling after all much heart-to-heart session. And because of that too I have to kept this post in a draft as the complication still not revamped at first. Plus, I don't wanna mess up my precious bloggie with a mere matter. I'm not a kiddo anyway to simply talk crap here and there, to just kutuk itu ini. I must admit that was my mistake too. If I really being able to ignored all of an evil thoughts in my head, the matter can be fixed easily or just fade away. I truly am sorry for everything, if I did do hurt you guys, I'm deeply sorry.
Since nobody is perfect has recruited, no one has use an effective method, so did I. Yeah, boo me for that. To be frank, I really have lost control, I've been out of my mind. I supposedly do not have to desperately win back my precious dignity instead of being able to just chilling and pretending (Like I used to!) that I'm cool all the way. Fail! I've meet the failure to give a reassurance that I am okay. So the kurang siuman act had exploded just like that. But I've tried as fuck as I can to not cruelly performing outcry and vociferation. But people, please do not use high tone or any foul languange to confront me, okay? This is a warning, really, I'm not good with my demeanour lately. Annoyed much?
I wept a 'lil bit as I feeling so. Cause I've been knowing her for about 2 years so this kind of drama I shouldn't bury. I wanna keep it as I wanna remained as a matured person. Heh. Things happened for a 'reason' after all. Again, I'm sorry.
For the boyfriend;
I truly am sorry for not telling you about this earlier. I was so stupid to be a so-called strong. But I had failed at that point from the start. Ughhh. Fail again. I don't really mean to hide anything from you, to act like a moron, I really really have lost control that time, but I still enable to ensure you that I'm all fine on the other day-the night that was terribly dismayed my heart. But we'd still managed to have one beautiful conversation, I think. I love you, thank you for being as an 'arsehole'. Hihi.
I'm fucking miss you already :'(
Oh well, as I've said before, the fight (With the boyfriend) is most likely preferable (Since we love to!) but in a small dose is much needed. Thank you. I shall take up any counselling course or having some therapeutic session for control my anger-I'm suck to that extent so don't set off.
This is may devoted for you, me and for us;
"FOOL ME ONCE,
SHAME ON YOU.
FOOL ME TWICE,
SHAME ON ME.
(The boyfriend once had said this to me, I won't forget lah Sayang oiiii!)