20110128

A Learning Process.

Of late, I'm not getting a real trouble sleeping but I have promised myself to update something, so here I am. As you have most prolly noticed, I possess little but shitty words nowadays.

Oh well.

To top it off, 'twas super fantastic here, Malacca. But not so magical without my boy. What gives eh?

Oh well.

I still can grab my chance tomorrow! Oh, I have a bunch of things to do with him already. Ergo, we should not waste the holidays! Should squeeze ourselves to the moon. I really really missed him. And to heal the sufferings, I've read his latest sweetest (!) post like zillion times! Thank you! I owe you one, it has been ages not having a beautiful thought of yours. I adore you, sayangku. I don't have ANY such thing just to beat his writing. I've lost my magic. :(

And there's certainly nothing I like about my life right now.
Having bad times alone without him, no such fun.
For starters, let's talk about all of this vengeance.

And I've no idea as to why over the years, without fail, I've constantly exhibited gravely questionable tendencies to fall for such (occasional or often) 'talam' friends. I never seem to learn, don't I? It's maddening how...accepting those words sound like. It's as if we're all meant to be condemned to a lifetime of never-ending 'bad' choices. In my case, I'm no longer firm believer of so-called 'soul sister'. I never trust this, I never trust that, I mean I never trust you. Annoying as fuck, but it's beginning to get quite apparent that I'm still playing deaf, blind and heartless. Feigning sorry unconcern. Heh. It's pretty extensive!

Of course, it's most probably because I'm one of them unflinching bulletproof myself.

I think I never know what the talam actually means?

Sometimes I just don't understand why people love to find flaws in others. Apa yang best sgt?
I really don't understand and never will be the one. Period.

New friends, new books, new life, new faces, but same families, darlings and not to forget, Loverboy.
I'm glad enough to be me.
Alhamdulillah.

Reminder:
I am not a good daughter.
I am not a polite young lady.
I am not a good friend.
I am not a perfect girlfriend.
But, by god I do wish that I will prove them wrong.
Trust me.
This is my learning experience.
And the process is overwhelming.
It makes me even stronger.
I shall glue it all in my mind.

I miss you.
I love you.
I can't wait to see H.
I can't wait to comfort him again.
And yes, the magic itself.
Teehee :)