Hell I tell you.
There comes a point where someone wonders, "What the hell is going on?" when they do not understand what and why they're feeling so. This stupid feeling of despair and somewhat lost is eating me up. I feel....unattached, was someway lonely. I think my one and only hope is gone. I think the world itself is really hates me now.
And honestly, I think I'm losing my marbles. I have an obscure idea of how ugly things may come if I try to get to the bottom of this, but the view of having to stare at my worst fears right in the face, I have to cowardly admit, is something I'm not yet ready to do.
Being sad is so ho-hum. (and wasteful) No mood to go out. No mood to even have fun.
What do you do when the one who has always kept you adrift, the person who you'd thought always be there and never leave, is not as 'unbeatable' as you thought they were? What if everything you've done your whole life rotated around that person, when that person leaves, what do you do then?? What do you do?
What should I do??
I think I need some time...